Losing a loved one can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences anyone can face in life. Coping with loss is a journey that is unique to each individual. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief and it can be a long and difficult process.
As a counselor, I've worked with many individuals who have terminal illnesses, and the majority of them have expressed a desire for their loved ones to remember them for who they were throughout their entire life, rather than just the moments leading up to their death. Unfortunately, this is not always the case as many people tend to focus on the final days or moments, especially if it was a difficult experience.
For those who are grieving, it can be helpful to journal about the good memories they've had with their loved ones. Writing about these happy moments can bring a sense of comfort and help to process the loss. It can also be helpful to write letters to the person who has passed away as a way of expressing feelings and emotions that may be difficult to articulate verbally.
It's important to note that grief isn't linear, but more of a circle. The stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, everyone goes through the stages differently and in different orders. It can be helpful to be aware of what stage you are in and know that it's okay. Your feelings are valid and it's okay to have them.
During this time, it's also encouraged to speak to a counselor who can help you along the journey. Counselors can provide a safe and supportive space for people to process their emotions and offer guidance and coping strategies.
There are also groups for people who have lost a loved one, such as Grief Share (griefshare.org). These groups provide a community of individuals who have gone through similar experiences and can offer support and comfort to one another. Being able to share experiences with others who have gone through similar situations can provide a sense of relief and healing.
In conclusion, navigating grief can be a difficult journey. It's important to remember that everyone's process is unique, and it's okay to take the time to grieve. Journaling, writing letters, and seeking support from counselors and groups can all be helpful coping mechanisms. Remembering the good memories of the person who has passed away can also bring a sense of comfort during this difficult time.